i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I checked into jail on foursquare
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
