So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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