In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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