I'm jealous of your bromance
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
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