i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
