I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
