he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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