It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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