D3 body, D1 cock
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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