Whod you bang
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
