but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize