she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
