Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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