I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
