Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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