no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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