Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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