You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
