I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize