i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Randomize