the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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