Say something about gay babies.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
