I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
