Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
