so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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