just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
