I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
