so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
