What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
