And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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