How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize