so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Randomize