if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
