How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
