i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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