The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
