bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize