i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
