I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
