I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize