Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
do herpes really smell.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
