Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
