I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
