I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
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