Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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