I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
