Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i need some magic done to my vagina
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
