VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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