you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize