She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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