Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Randomize
