Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
