My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
