She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
