awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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