I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
A bitchslap is in order.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
