And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
