Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
