I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
