i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Jerry, you need to find god
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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