Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
