What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
