THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
