fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
