Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
