After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
